Sunday 3 April 2011

Pity The Pathological Anti-Smoker

You may have heard of US broadcaster Rush Limbaugh. If it was on the BBC or CiF, his name would have been uttered in the same vein as would David Icke's or Nick Griffin's since he is unashamedly tabloid (as has been levelled at your host on occasion), and far from 'progressive'.

Still, whatever the source, anecdotes are just that - anecdotes - whoever tells 'em, so I don't see why this one shouldn't be retold with an admitted relish. Especially since it involves e-cig use {pauses to take generous vapour} and highlights further the anti-social nature of your friendly neighbourhood, pompous, dictatorial, mentally-disturbed, anti-tobacco freak.

You know, I'll tell you a little funny story. In fact, it happened in Hawaii.

It was an outdoor thing. Seven or eight of us are standing at the bar and we're having adult beverage, and I have one these electronic cigarettes going.

It wasn't long before the general manager of the place came over, very polite, and said, "Mr. Limbaugh, you know, really. I'm sure you know that smoking isn't permitted. We're serving food here but generally smoking in public isn't permitted."

I said, "I know, I totally understand, but this is not smoking."

"It isn't?"

"No. This is not a cigarette. This is water vapor," and I took it apart, I explained it to him. I said, "What looks like a cigarette to you is a battery. What looks to you like the filter is where the nicotine is in a fluid and it ends up as water vapor."

"Ohhhhh, is that all it is? It's water vapor?"

I said, "Yeah, here, let me smoke it and you tell me if you can smell it." So I blew some in his face. It happened to be chocolate flavored that day.

"Oh, no problem!"

Ten minutes later, the guy comes back.

"Mr. Limbaugh, our customers are still complaining. You're enjoying it too much and they think that you're setting a bad example. They say it looks like a cigarette."

We're a long way from health concern here, aren't we?

When someone vaping an e-cig; outdoors; nowhere near the complainant; is still subject to an overwhelming urge to object from someone who has presumably had the nature of the device explained to them, one has to surmise that the person concerned has serious mental issues to contend with.

I'm beginning to think that, instead of vilifying such disgusting berks, we should be pitying them for the frailty of their social and coping mechanisms. Let's face it, they've probably been understandably punched in the face so often that they're deeply terrified of life itself.

Bless.


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