It is not that I consciously go out and buy a People Magazine. Once in awhile I let my wife out for some shopping and I stay in the car. She is well aware that nothing stirs me up more than a fresh copy of the glamoratti. She will inevitably get this grin on her face and toss me a copy of the magazine.
This week is worth mentioning as it is a “country special.” You know the budding young country stars who have just made the Faustian bargain and sold their soul to satan for fame and fortune. You know the kind who are photographed wearing cowboy boots and then go home and put on their Nikes. There is a certain cross migration going on at present as many of them are now sporting earrings. Real cowboys don’t do that do they?
The big trademark seems to be Keith Urban who co-stars with Nicole Kidman who split with the scientologist Tom Cruise indicating she has always been a catholic. Isn’t that like jumping from the fire back into the frying pan? Mr. Urban displays a certain cross over appeal sure to draw in the half-wits, double earrings and strange tattoos which resemble the Ruger emblem. The interview indicates they are just regular guys like you and I. Yeah we can see that.
Kelly Pickler and her songwriter Huntley Jacobs are fresh on a honeymoon to the fabulous island of Antigua. See I have noticed lately that when the beautiful people go to the beach, it is seldom in America but to exotic locations like Antigua. They can’t swim in American beaches because they are loaded with corexit and they don’t want to die an excruciating death. I mean can you picture beautiful people watching dolphins die and wading around in brown water with dead fish in it?
We have to have a country hoedown once in awhile because of the market. Wrangler and other international conglomerates have to sell their product to the 30 I.Q. group. Now what I mean by this is the case of Eric Church. He is big these days but lets talk a bit about his fans. We are told that he is one of county’s “hottest” guys. One of his fans, a female would not give up her front row seat. Rather than lose it she pissed in a styrofoam cup right in front of him. Now that is a fan. It is also a woman I would have to pass up and I don’t care what she looked like. Another one introduced her husband to Eric as her brother. Now if my wife had done that, I would not have gotten mad, I would have just offered both of them the keys to my truck and wished them the best, secure in the knowledge that both deserve each other.
Justin Bieber and Rascal Flatts appear in this one. Now maybe there is something I am missing with Bieber here but I don’t see much country and the Rascal Flattes boys look like they could fit into the Israeli symphony orchestra. Jay DeMarcus and Madeleine Leigh just don’t look country, they don’t even look Italian for cris sakes. It looks like a re-run of Tony Curtis and Vivian Leigh going country and I have got say there is that T-Rex smile. It is all about Daddy’s little girl, the new addition.
We have a shot of Reba McEntire. I am sure most of you are familiar with this one. I have to make it short, she has a set of teeth and the eye of the tiger look that would make T-Rex die of envy.
Everything is blending together in a we are all one scenario. Gywen Paltrow is making movies now with Tim McGraw. Gwen is the one Cheney’s cousin Brad Pitt dropped like a hot potato for Jennifer Anniston. Tim is married to Faith Hill who has been caught outright flashing the horn sign.
The excursion to Afghanistan by Kix Brooks is highlighted. He and Bob DePiero hiked across some of the most “biblical looking terrain.” in his To Afghanistan With Love promotional. I don’t know what they really had on board but it wasn’t love, I am sure of it.
Then there is Billy Currington who took his little lady on a trip to Hawaii that the mysterious Hawaiians won’t let him divulge. He speared fish in the cove and picked fruit off the tree. See here again they don’t go to the gulf anymore for romantic outings. Even now Hawaii is loading up with Fukushima residue.
We have Jason Aldean with a quaint Georgian accent. He is a rocker also. I have a quaint Georgia accent myself but nobody wants me on American Idol, I assure you. He can find him a necklace a walmart and wear it for years. He is so like us isn’t he? He raised $175,000 for the MS campaign but failed to mention aspartame, the real cause of it. But we love that boyish grin.
Arkansas Joe Nichols and why we love him. He has a rugged sexiness and a sly sense of humor that is why we love him. Honestly I never heard of him until a magazine was thrown in my lap today. When the day gets warmer this guy really heats it up! It is those Cherokee good looks. The theme is why we love them, honestly I don’t know.
Latest on Trisha Yearwood who was at the latest Plant City strawberry festival. Honestly I don’t know how I missed this one. Nobody tipped me off. Let’s be real when it comes to moon light swimming in a girl’s eye, Trisha stands alone. Nobody is home.
Then there is the case of Brad Paisley. He is smart, he is funny and “we think he is totally hot,” He says he is totally not and I agree. Give it up for Brad.
Taylor Swift is worth a mention. She has the devilish twinkle in her eye. I haven’t figured her out yet. She may be just too young to realize the road she is on, then again I won’t make the call on this one yet.
We also have Jersey Shores Mike “the situation” Sorrentino flashing the horn sign, with Dierks Bentley in tow. Dierks has that T-Rex look, definitely a Wetiko. There is Tracy London all aglow over those Lee Rider Jeans, Joshua Scott and Megan Lindsey who looks like the country version of Cyndi Lauper, (eyes). Lee Corbin initially dubbed too country for Nashville, Lee Brice all about faith and everlasting love, Sarah Evans is stronger than ever, Alan Jackson, always a fav as he never says much, just sits there flashing the horn sign recuperating from heart problems brought on by substance abuse. Mike and Tom Gossin walking along a hill with suspenders hanging like they just left the outhouse. We are talking earthy here. But that is alright kiddies, see you can almost kill yourself and then regroup to become a star.
I almost left this one out. There is Sara Evans whose life has never been the same since she let Jesus into her heart. It is not clear if this is Jesus in his other body, an archetype or simply the spirit of the Christos. It would be interesting to sit down with Sara and discuss this but somehow I know it would take a long time. I think I could pen pal her on blogs and we couldn’t reach common ground for about 66,000 years. I am really really sure the Christos has always been in her heart. That is what keeps it beating (electromagnetic energy) it is the bullshit in her head that keeps her from realizing it.
Yes I could go on and on with this one as there is much more material there but I don’t want to bore anyone and besides the Guiness beer is wearing off. I have had friends tell me that people don’t like looking in my eyes as I give the impression I am looking through them. You really can sum a person by looking into their eyes. In a sense I feel that is true. The spirit sees the world through our eyes, it senses what we feel and it acts accordingly. I feel confident in saying that everyone will we receive according to their consciousness insomuch as what they have added or subtracted to the web of life. I am sure of it.
Still adding on here, I don’t want to give the impression there are no country singers that don’t give me a stir.