Shaft The Banksters! (And Yourselves!)

 

Banks are pretty simple institutions. Once they finish foreclosing on the orphanage*, they lend your deposits out to your neighbors using something called fractional reserve banking. Fractional reserve banking means that for every dollar of actual deposits they have, they can lend out some multiple of it. Let's run through a simple example.
Greedsville Bank has some deposits. By regulation, they have to have 20% of the value of their loans in assets (20% arbitrarily chosen). That means for every $1 they have on deposit, they can lend $5. Jason, Britney, Michelle, Tasheka, Eduardo and Jabrielle all want to go to college, but they can't afford it. They decide to take out loans. Jason goes first.
Jason takes out a loan and gets a degree in Bisexual Performance Art. When he graduates, he discovers two things. He can't get a job and Greedsville Bank is all over his sorry rear end trying to get money from him. The banksters are at it again! Well-schooled in economics by his university professors (particularly the ones who taught the Transgendered Studies classes), he decides to strike a blow for the masses and refuses to pay the banksters their blood money.
Greedsville Bank has to write off his loan as a loss. When they write off his loan, it comes out of their deposits. The loss of his loan means there are 5 loans they can't make in the future because those reserves are gone. Britney, Michelle, Tasheka, Eduardo and Jabrielle go to the bank and ask for loans and are turned down. They realize that it's the bankster greed at work, man! This is totally uncool! They gather up their sleeping bags and go to the local city park and protest. After 2 months of sleeping in self-created filth, Britney gets raped, Michelle ends up pregnant, Tasheka overdoses on Meth, Eduardo is robbed at gunpoint and Jabrielle is arrested. It's a big win for The People!
Meanwhile, Greedsville Bank still isn't able to loan anyone the money because Jason didn't pay them back.

* - This is a very dated reference. Thanks to more than 1 million abortions per year, we no longer have orphanages. Instead, we have full employment at Topf and Sons dumpsters full of body parts. Margaret Sanger FTW!

http://ktcatspost.blogspot.com/2011/11/shaft-banksters-and-yourselves.html