Tobacco-Powered Electricity

 

Excerpt from the UKBA response to a real, but perhaps mischievous - not by me, I hasten to add - recent FOIA request.

Your request has been handled as a request for information under the Freedom of Information Act 2000. I have listed your request for reference.
‘What happens to tobacco products once seized by border control. I want to find out if these products are being burnt thus releasing vast quantities of the 'second hand smoke' that we are told is extremely dangerous to human life. If these products are being burnt, I would like to know exactly who is burning them, where they are being burnt and what steps are being taken to prevent the exposure to people of the residue 'second hand smoke'.’
I am able to disclose the following information.
The UK Border Agency is committed to finding innovative and sustainable means of disposal of revenue goods. Tobacco products are shredded and the pulp is taken to a power station and used as an alternative fuel source for power generation.
We do not hold any information on the power station that burns this alternative fuel source or the measures the power station takes to prevent the exposure to people of “second hand smoke”.

Now, while the response is entirely functional, wouldn't it have been great if the reply had pointed out that such power stations emit millions of tonnes of chemicals into the air, and that the 'risk-terrified enquirer' really shouldn't be worrying about such things?
But then, It's even better to imagine that some public sector flunkey really might have performed a risk assessment and issued guidelines on the safe disposal of tobacco amongst an overwhelming mountain of coal.
An absurd idea? Not while there is a smoking ban in the Arctic Circle, it's not.

I understand that a follow-up request has been lodged to ascertain exactly which power station is tasked with emitting these highly toxic chemicals.
With an effect on house prices and cancer incidence dependant on the response, the Daily Mail will of course be informed immediately once it is received.

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/DickPuddlecote/~3/kwtduo1hd0g/tobacco-powered-electricity.html