Friday, 19 August 2011

Guest Post: If You Are Wondering Where We Are….


From Chindit13

If You are Wondering Where We Are….

The Fed has helped print a new kind of currency, currency being a means of exchange that in and of itself offers no return whatsoever.
This new kind of currency used to be referred to as notes and bonds.

Please be mindful of this change if you plan on using the tired old phrase, “A man’s word is his bond”. Remember to replace “word” with “money”, and you’ll be okay, at least until 2013.

Money is freely available to those who don’t need it and don’t deserve it. For everyone else there’s 29.99% Mastercard and Visa.

Elected officials in the United States are prohibited by both law and custom from looking in the mirror.

GDP for the sake of GDP is only a good thing if it is done in China, where empty buildings and empty cities are viewed as growth-positive.
On the other side of the world in the US, however, remember to change the plus sign to a minus to reflect the directionality of the gravity that has captured US assets and their funding mechanisms alike. Just to note, were Las Vegas, South Florida, and Detroit located in China, they would be referred to as “Economic Miracles”. It’s like that.

If you don’t have a job, you have 99 weeks to come to terms with it, after which you are no longer eligible to be counted in BLS labor participation rate statistics. The proper term for this is “patriotism”.

If you are leader of a sovereign nation, please pick the type of social upheaval that is right for your country and its ways and
customs: violence stemming from out of control inflation (the Middle East Option), or violence resulting from austerity imposed on the innocent and downtrodden (Ye Olde Victorian Option). Note that with the latter you are entitled to copious and unrestricted use of racial epithets to categorize the nature of the urban festivities. Also, look for it to make its sporting debut in the upcoming Olympics, pending IOC approval, of course.

Sarah Palin is the new Nostradamus, because she “knew” that the US would be degraded or upbraided or desecrated by the ratings agencies under Obama. She also believes that the 1960’s pop band Paul Revere and the Raiders should be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame for fighting off the British Invasion.

The story of Jesus, the fish and loaves of bread is quaint, but it pales in comparison to what Europe can do. If one is in need of real miracles, one need not look any further than the fund into which pay the governments of Greece, Ireland, Italy and Spain that will be used to bail out the governments of Greece, Ireland, Italy and Spain.

A rising tide lifts all boats, at least those moored off the Hamptons and Nantucket.

After watching Barney Frank’s appearance on the recent Rachel Maddow show, the Massachusetts state motto is henceforth changed to: No Representation without Flatulation!

Unless you are a successful hedge fund manager, Cake Eater, a Social Networking IPO beneficiary, or a Congressman on a corporate junket, you are ineligible to consume cheese fondue, climb the Matterhorn, or have images of cows on your necktie, because---don’t kid yourself---you simply cannot afford it.

As a corollary to the above statement, both Turkey and Albania have now reached OECD status due to remittances sent from guest arbiters in Geneva, Basel and Zurich. A hearty welcome to the club is in order.

As “Nando“, the Billy Crystal character from a long ago Saturday Night Live used to say, “If you are like me, you’d rather look good than feel good”. Hence, a rising stock market is more important than a growing economy. You look maaaahvelous!

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