Not just the grass, although two weeks of Aberdonian summer daylight means I now get my arse wiped crossing the lawn. If there is a dry day this year I'll have to cut it before it tickles my chin too.
No, it's the scythe and cape and the pointing bony finger I'm talking about here.
What the hell is Guido Fawkes playing at? Is he trying to get us all killed? Oh, it's all fun and blog hits until someone gets sentenced to death for drink-driving, isn't it? I think maybe the Guinness has addled his brain. He must surely have heard the term 'mission creep'.
Passive smoking. Passive drinking. Passive obesity. None have really killed anyone at all, yet thousands of deaths have been ascribed to these nonsensical imaginings. So all could be construed as murder and all would attract the death penalty. Real deaths are caused by drink-driving so all drink-drivers are legitimate targets as potential murderers. You dipstick, Fawkes. You're signing your own death warrant. Do you think they don't want you gone? Why not load the gun for them while you're at it?
The Monsters claim they will be 'forced' to consider giving themselves the power to kill us whenever they feel like it because of popular opinion.
Commons leader Sir George Young has already said they should not ignore voters and shy away from debating the issue.
Really? Two governments have had no problem ignoring voters over the Lisbon treaty, membership of the EU, immigration, the smoking ban, and a host of other issues. Why can't they ignore this one too?
Sir George warned it would damage democracy to ignore strong opinions among members of the public "or pretend that their views do not exist".
You lot have pretended my views don't exist for my entire life. That's why I hate you and will not support you. I am far from being the only one. Very far indeed.
Schoolboy Clegg claimed that considering the reinstatement of the death penalty was as unthinkable as even talking about the smoking ban. Now it seems the Coagulation is pretending they will be 'forced' into killing us. They'll probably have the death penalty for smoking, Clegg, you foetid bubo filling. You want the death penalty, fine, you go first. In fact, why not set the example by topping yourself in the Commons? Let the country see what it is you want them to support.
Our government want the death penalty back. Yes, they do. Of all the issues they have been harangued about, this is the only one they have not ignored. This is the only one they claim they 'have to look at' because 'the people want it'. Rubbish. The people think they want it because they all think it will never apply to them. Until their children are summarily executed by park keepers for littering, and then it's too late.
What about this smoking ban then? A ban on something that in reality affects nobody but the smoker. What about the EU that's stuck to each of us like a nine-foot leech? No, they don't want to even talk about those things. A return of State murder, oh yes, they'll talk about that. You can hear their saliva bubbling at the prospect. Look how clean the Westminster windows are since this was proposed. The licking has been frantic.
I first came onto the political scene via Guido Fawkes' blog. It used to be a place I respected and considered to be a paragon of political persuasion. Now it's becoming the bloody Daily Sport of politics.
Forget about the old 'EU won't allow it' stuff. The EU have already proposed it. For the heinous crime of... criticising the EU.
This is a test case. If it gets support here, the EU will allow it and then roll it out across all of Europe.
Within days there will be no climate sceptics, no open smokers, no open drinkers, no EU protests, no dissent of any kind. One wrong move and you're dead. Not figuratively. Literally.
Guido, you are an idiot. A useful one, yes, but an idiot nonetheless.
Oh and if you give it a moment's thought, you'll realise you're pretty close to the top of their list.